Mehhh! So much shit has been going on lately. Such as I freakin heart Robert!!!!!!!!!!!! But moving on. Ummmmmmmm chyeah. It's been a lot of fun this summer, but a lot of drama went down as well. Meh, teenage angst. I remember watching Heathers not too long ago and hearing this line. "Dear Diary, my teenage angst bullshit has a body count." I adore it. Fuck! Um. Shit, there's so much going on, it's so hard to explain.

I have a shitload of rumors flying about me. It involves Me. Bart. Bed. Condoms. Nakedness. I'll leave that for you to figure out seeing as how it's really not that hard. Ummm... Yeah, I know where this comes from, but I'd rather not get into it. It's a bunch of BS, and Ashley (redhead Ashley) is the one spreading that shit around.

Ummmm.... Fucking hell. Shit. I got a boyfriend. Robert = love . He makes me happier than I actually have been for soooooooooooo long. It's really that amazing. Ummm... Cock and I hang out all the freakin time now. He's the BEST homo ever, and I am his best Fag Hag. I've gone drinking a few times this summer. I turned sixteen. (WHEE HAPPY! ) I went to a concert at Dragon Chasers. I went to the hospital for the uber stomach ache. The freakin doctor poked me in the stomach four times and said I have acid reflux . Where the HELL do you get that?

On a more random note... For some reason, as a suggested tag I just got "Fuck Me Hard" . I am confused.

Moving RIGHT along then. Ummmm.... I went to Hot Topic today to get a pair of boots I'd been admiring from afar for about three weeks. I got them and they are hot as shit. I also got a new shirt. I have no idea what it says or what it means, but it looks sweet . It's green. Haha, I'm a loser.

I've been writing a lot recently. Not here, just songs, stories, journals. Yeah. Umm... I got a new corset . Chyeah buddy, that shit is HOT . Haha, I really have nothing else to say.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND ROBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just turned sixteen.

It makes me happy.

YAY FOR HAPPY!

Happy birthday to me

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random and play! 
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play!
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from!
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly

1.-  It's like therapy for my broken soul.

2.- I'm so glad that I'll never fit in, that will never be me. Outcast and girls with ambition that's what I wanna see.;  Pink - Stupid Girls
strwberysweetie 

3.- And you never would have found in the end how amazing it feels just to live again, it's a feeling that you cannot miss, and it burns a hole in everyone who feels it.  The Used - Blue and Yellow
strwberysweetie 

4.- The taste of love is sweet when hearts like ours meet, I fell for you like a child, oh but the fire went wild. Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire
 strwberysweetie 

5.- Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots, and ruined your black tie affair, the last one to know, the last one to show, I was the last one you thought you'd see there. And I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes, when I took his glass of champagne, and I toasted you said "we may be through, but you'll never hear me complain" Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places
lostinmyownmind  

6.- Women to the left of me, and women to the right, and got no gun, and got no knife... Don't you start no fight.

7.- This is not my life, this is not my hope, this is not me. I hate this.

8.-  In the middle of a gunfight, in the center of a restaurant, they say come with your arms raised high. Well they're never gonna get me, like a bullet through a flock of doves, to wage this war against your faith in me, your life will never be the same. On your mothers eyes say your prayer, say your prayer.

9 – So let's sink another drink, cuz it will give me time to think.

10.-  This is a message to the law, tell em "we hate you"

11.- But then one day, I met a man, he came to me and said, "hard work good, and hard work fine, but first take care of head"

12.- So don't cry to me oh baby, your futures in an oblong box.

13.-  They said "change your clothes" she said "no I won't" they said "comb your hair" she said "some kids don't" and her parents dreams went up in smoke. They said "you can't leave" she said "yes, I will." They said don't see him, she said "his name is bill" she's on a roll and it's all uphill. Faith Hill - Wild One
lostinmyownmind  

14.-  fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager with a little bit of dough and a pager, searchin my car, lookin for the product, yeah motherfucker, I'm sellin narcotics.

15.-  feel like going insane, got a fire in your brain, and you're thinking of drinking gasoline.

16- with just a touch of my burnin hand gonna live my life to destroy your world, prime directive exterminate the whole fucking race and your face just drops in a pile of flesh, and your heart heart pounds til it pumps in death.

17.- I need some distraction, oh, beautiful release. Memories seep from my veins, let me be empty, oh well weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight.

18.- They took the whole Cherokee nation, and put us all in this reservation. Took away our ways of life, the tomahawk and the bowie knife, took away our native tongue and taught their English to our young.

19.-  You can run, you can hide, just like bonnie and clyde, reach for the sky, ain't never gonna die. And I thank the lord for the love that I have found and I hold you tight cause tomorrow may never come.

20.-  Cause I'm the kid whose got a lot of problems, if I throw a brick maybe the brick will go and solve them.

21.-  There's prophets and fools there, the lies and the truth will be at our feet. I got a reason to turn my head and look the other way. It's heaven and hell here, which one will I live today?

22.- Bisexuals, trisexuals, homosapians, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, and pee wee herman. German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstacy,  Vaclav Have The Sex Pistols, 8BC To no shame - never playing the Fame Game

23.- And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows, and all the good girls are home with broken hearts.

24.-  Should I talk slower like your a retard? Should I talk slower like your retarded? Mindless Self Indulgence - Stupid MF
strwberysweetie 

25.- You weren't the first to court me mister you won't be the last. Oh, I'm sure I wasn't honey, I know all about your past. Listen to the big shot with his pager on call, you spent most of those nights in my bathroom stall. (Yeah, you got him high, but you left him low) Mind your own business, boy, how was I to know that he was just a fiend and a no-good cheat. Well it's all in the past bitch 'cause now I've got it beat.

Who am I to make believe that this is Hell? I believe in God, I do. I really actually do, and the funny thing is that I never used to. I realized that if you believe in Jesus Christ, and you believe He is your Lord and Savior, than you have eternity. What is real eternity? Eternity compared to this life... This life, this battered human existance compared to eternity is a second. I'm a bit morbid, I know. Not even sixteen and already wondering about death. I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of what will come after death, what I'm afraid of is who I may become. I'm not afraid of becoming a bad person, just what I could do to myself. Hurting myself is what I fear most. I've slipped in to old habits. The people who know me best know what I mean. Stress, hate, fear, pain, anxiety, depression. I want to be out of these habits, and I thought I was, and then I saw the knife, and my control was gone. I'm really not one to complain, but I am.

A lot of this stress comes from Jake always being around. Kevin told me to get a restraining order against him if he was making me hurt myself. Unfortunately, my parents are friends with him, so that's not an option. And then there's Kevin. I've had a thing for Kevin for years, and anyone who knows me has probably realized that, and he and I got to talking and I remember mentioning something about it. That may have been a dream though. He has Sharon, though. I've hated her for God knows how long, and I hate her even more because she has Kevin. Grrrrrr. I dunno. Landis definitely has the majority of my heart. But what delusional part of my head is telling me that I'll get him? He's going to college, he's eight-teen, his heart doesn't belong to me. Maybe I should give up on men, but I can't.

Frank and I started dating again. I know this sounds horrible, but he's really not my type. He's a sweetheart, but he's not opinionated, and I really like men who can voice their opinions without giving two shits what other people think. He really likes me, it's just I can't bring myself into any kind of a relationship right now. I've got too much on my mind, too much stress, too much drama going on. It's not a good time. I'd give Landis a chance, I would, it's just he's not going to give me the chance.

I'm not asking for forever... I'm just asking for a chance.

This sucks.... I hate the way I think.